


Not That Different

by stephensmat



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Healing, Light Side Jedi, Missing Scene, Suicidal Thoughts, Visas' Journey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22108171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephensmat/pseuds/stephensmat
Summary: A retelling of some of the important moments in the life of Visas Marr, and her time with the Exile. Visas/LSM Exile. A ship if you want it to be, but follows the canon of Exile/Handmaiden if not.
Relationships: The Jedi Exile/Visas Marr
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Not That Different

Visas sat on the hill overlooking her home. She could not see it's colors. She could not see what the road was made from, and did not feel it on her feet when she walked the roads of her home town. But she could count each and every person who walked through these streets. Each and every person who made up her world.

Katarr was a living thing, and Visas was a cell in it, and she breathed their unity. They were one mind, one soul. A hundred thousand people, all of them with their own voice, their own signature in the Force, their own sound, and the chorus was all encompassing among her brothers.

Unlike all her people, who saw no point, Visas slipped away from her people from time to time, withdrawing from the colony, withdrawing from her brotherhood, pulling away just enough to hear beyond them. Her Sight was universal to all her kind, but she had the ability to Force Sense; and she could sense something beyond her world. She liked to listen sometimes. Just to see what was there.

Visas felt no warmth. Needed no warmth. Her skin could feel, but who cared to study the perceptions of Touch when seeing eternity through the Force? She wore no clothes. What use for modesty when none of them could see each other's bodies, and their souls open completely to each others' Sight? She was surrounded by plants and flowers, but had no concern for smells. Her world spoke to her. And she spoke back. She belonged here.

And then, for the first time, something changed.

Katarr knew there were other people out beyond their world. Several of them even went out to visit. But the people out there did not join with each other. The Force was something mysterious to them; the stuff of legend and magic. On Katarr, it was more than oxygen.

So when something came from beyond their world, there was little notice, barely confusion.

She saw nothing. Miraluka had Sight, but not eyes. She did not see it coming.

But oh, the things she _heard_.

**MINE!**

Visas Screamed.

**MINE!**

She screamed out in the only way a Miralukan could, howling through the Force.

**MINE!**

The song of her world was discord, it was out of harmony, it was going quiet. She could feel it all being ripped away, devoured, dissolved, breaking apart; huge chunks of all creation, all existence going dark.

**HUNGRY! FEED!**

Darkness. Cold. She was drowning in darkness. It was inky black and it felt cold and it was painful. It was poison in her soul and it lanced through her with spidery fingers of death.

And there was nothing else. Where was everything? Where was Katarr?

_There's nothing there! Where am I?! How am I?_

Visas knew nothing.

* * *

It was hard to describe. It was like Force Sense, only without the Force. She could... feel? Was that the word? Was that it? Was she feeling something?

Cold. She felt cold. It was the first thing she had sensed with Touch, the first inputs from her skin that she was ever truly aware of.

It was awful. She could only feel her body because it was the only thing left to feel. The Force was dead to her. _Katarr..._

Sounds. Was that the word? Was it a sound? She could feel her body moving, shaking against the cold metal floor. It was hard and unforgiving and not at all welcoming and warm like everything she knew.

Sounds. It was painful in her ears, and she did not know she could block it a little with her hands. Where was it coming from?

Movement. Was her body moving? Was she dead?

Sounds again. She could taste. She was aware of more inputs coming from inside her mouth. She was tasting something metallic. It tasted awful. More movement, the taste got stronger. Was she pulling the taste into her body?

**Breathing.**

The word came to her. It was that voice. That voice that devoured her soul and left her small and terrified.

 **The term you do not know, is 'breathing'.** It said.

Yes. She was breathing. She stopped to focus on the one input. She was pulling air in. More sounds.

 **Screaming.** That voice told her. **The sound is you screaming.**

Yes, she was screaming.

**Be silent.**

She did so, instantly, obediently. The Command was something coming through The Force and she felt so grateful that there was still _something_ out there to sense. She reached out with her hands, and felt something... cloth? Robes?

A roar, and she felt a concussive wave through the Force. It threw her across the room and into a wall. **NEVER TOUCH ME.**

She tried to move, and the inputs from her skin spread out. It was... bad. It was awful. She wanted it to stop.

 **Pain.** That voice told her. **It's called Pain.**

Yes. She was in pain.

**You have been here for nine days. Eat.**

She reached out obediently, and felt something. Touch again. She took it.

**Eat.**

She put it in her mouth. Her mouth seemed to explode again. Inputs! So much! It was... what was it!

 **Taste. It is food. You are tasting it**.

She had eaten before. She had eaten food. But who could care enough to focus on the taste of food when your Sense could take in so much more? _Who are you?_

**I am Nihilus. I am Hunger. I am the darkness into which all light is cast. I am destruction from which there is no rebirth.**

Her body was still moving, but she wasn't doing it. Her limbs. She could feel them. They were moving back and forth, but only a little bit.

**Shaking. You are shaking. You are cold.**

Visas wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep warm. Her movements were awkward and difficult. She had never shown concern for her body before. Her skin felt thick with dirt and grime. Visas trembled, and reached out to the Force begging for something to connect to. All she knew was Malevolence. All she could sense was hatred and hunger. It was suffocating. It was awful.

Desperate to escape, she shut herself off from the Force completely, ripping herself away and slamming back into herself, blind and lost. She felt cold. She felt pain. She felt hungry.

**You are weak. If you were stronger, you would have no weakness. You would not need warmth. You would not be afraid.**

_Will you teach me?_ She asked it. _Will you make me strong again?_

**No. You are not worthy. You are the last crumbs from a meal I devoured already. You are alive so that you may serve me. All life exists to feed my hunger.**

Visas was afraid. _Katarr?_

**It was delicious. For a time.**

She lunged at him, wanting to kill him and not knowing how. The was a crackle of sound and she felt something slice against her face. She screamed again, clutching at her face. It felt... Hot. She was cold but her face was hot and painful.

Visas screamed.

**Be silent.**

She did so. _Kill me._

**No.**

_Please!_

**No.**

_I beg of you!_

**And what is that to me?**

Visas screamed.

**Be silent.**

She did so.

**You are nothing. Your life is mine for as long as I wish it to be. You exist only to serve me now. And if you serve me well, then I may feed on you.**

_And I will die?_

**Yes.**

_Thank you_. Visas responded softly. _What do I do now?_

**You are nothing. Until summon you; I do not care.**

* * *

_Two Years Later_

* * *

Visas was trembling a little, cold. She shifted a little, trying to get a little more comfortable on the cold steel floor. After this long, she was used to such hardships, but she still felt the cold creeping into her skin. She ignored it. It would never change, and she was stronger now. Nihilus had trained her well in the ways of endurance.

The door opened, and one of the drones came in. It said nothing. She supposed it had no thoughts left in it to speak aloud. It gave her food, and then left. She ate it. She had become used to the notion of taste. This food tasted bad, turned her mouth to foul rot. She ate anyway. There was nothing else to eat, and hunger made her colder.

**Come.**

She jumped up, almost before she was fully aware of him. "Yes, Master?" She said aloud. After this long, she knew how to use her physical voice. She didn't even jump when she heard it any more.

**I want you to see.**

Visas came running, feeling the air of the corridor change against her skin. After years, she knew the way, though she was blind against the haze of the Dark Side that filled the ship. She came running to the bridge, her skin feeling the air of an open space. She felt something sharp bite into the sole of her foot as she ran, and she allowed herself to reach out a little, forcing herself to feel the room. She ran up to her Master and bowed.

 **Sense for me.** Nihilus commanded.

Visas did so, remaining bowed before him, stretching her mind, fighting to see past her Masters' overwhelming hunger.

She felt something, far away. She sent her Sight toward it, and she flew between the star. Visas almost laughed. Free again! She could see again! At last!

Some part of her remained smothered by the Dark Side, a leash of darkness around her throat, and she fought to hide her exhilaration. If her Master sensed it...

Visas controlled herself, and focused her Force Sense. It focused on someone. It was a woman. Her signature in the Force was clear and bright. It was the Light Side of the Force. Visas had almost forgotten what it felt like.

 **She is Jedi.** Nihilus told her. **She is on another world. I will provide you with a ship. You will bring this Jedi to me.**

"Why?"

**Because I have commanded it.**

Visas remained bowed. Two years of the harshest training under his tutelage had made her body strong against pain and exhaustion. "Yes, Master." She could not fully hide the excitement in her voice. She was finally being allowed to leave the ship.

**You will face this Jedi. You will need to reach her first.**

"Yes, Master."

**You will need to wear clothing.**

"Why?"

**To avoid detection.**

There was movement. The drones gave off almost no presence in the Force. They walked, they served, they crawled over the hull and brought her rations; but they had no life. Her Master had already devoured them. The drones brought her clothing. She took it.

Her fingers fumbled with the cloth. She had never warn clothes before. She doubted she was doing it right. It was strange. She felt awkward. The clothes were dirty and smelled of age and decay.

The drone reached out and pulled at her clothing, putting it on her right. Visas supposed the drone was a person once. Maybe it had worn clothes. It reached up and pulled a hood over her face, low across her eyes.

Visas hated it. It felt harsh against her skin. Since she discovered the sense of touch, she had known only discomfort from it.

**Go now.**

* * *

Visas wondered why she returned. The Jedi was behind her, bound and glaring at her.

She reached toward it with the Force. The Light Side was coming off the Jedi in waves. The light burned against her senses, painful and harsh to look at. Just the presence of Jedi was like staring into a hot sun, burning cold.

"What do you want with me Sith?" She hissed at Visas.

"My Master... He commanded I bring you."

The Jedi snorted.

Visas licked her lips. "If I get your hands free... can you kill my Master?"

The Jedi reacted. "Treachery is the way of the Sith, girl. I will fight if I must, but I will not help you to ascend to dominance."

"I don't want to be a Sith!" Visas yelled. "I am not his apprentice. I'm his slave!"

That landed. The Jedi studied her gently for a while.

Visas stared back, studying with her Sense. "No. I don't think you can beat him. It's a shame that you are weak, but you're weak just the same. I cannot take a chance on helping you. His punishments are... extreme." Visas turned away from the doomed Jedi and set a course back for the Ravager.

"If you hate your Master so, then why are you bringing me to him?"

Visas trembled. "I have nothing else. You thought me a Sith before you saw me. I have spent too long in my Master's grip. I am fused with the Dark Side now. I think... I think that I stink of his Darkness, and can go nowhere else." She shivered. "The Jedi would not welcome the Dark Side."

The Jedi studied her. "My name's Juhani."

Visas nodded.

Juhani tried again. "Who are you?"

She actually had to think about it. It had been so long... "Visas." She said finally. "My name was Visas Marr."

"Is it really so much better to be with a Sith than it is to be alone?"

"Perhaps not for you. But I am Miralukan. We cannot live in isolation. I don't even exist if I am alone." Visas told her. "And if I... If I serve him... He will kill me one day."

"What?"

"He promised!" Visas insisted.

Juhani shook her head slowly. "Poor girl."

Visas did not feel shock at that. The fate which awaited this Jedi was beyond terrible, and she felt no fear, only pity for Visas.

 _Poor me._ Visas agreed.

* * *

They had returned to the Ravager, and Visas had thrown Juhani down before Nihilus, quickly bowing beside her, prostrate before her Lord. Nihilus raised a hand and Juhani was suddenly pulled upright by invisible bonds, hanging before him in mid-air.

 **Kill her.** Nihilus commanded.

"What? Me?" Visas said aloud. "Why?"

**Because I have commanded it.**

Visas felt her hands shake as she drew the hilt, and she brought the blade to life. It was hissing and living and resonant, and she swung the blade down.

The Light in the Force was cut off, darkness in its place.

Her Master roared, his Hunger spiking through the room, an inescapable drowning noise, drawing in everything, and Visas trembled under his parasitic power.

 **Delicious**.

Visas trembled.

 **You are weak.** He told her. **True Sith have no fear**.

"Do you wish to train me as a Sith?" Visas asked hopefully.

**No.**

"Kill me."

**No.**

"But one day?"

**Perhaps.**

Visas bowed obediently. "Thank you, my Master."

Return to your room, till I have use of you again.

"I exist to serve." She said. "My life is yours."

Nihilus raised a hand and Visas was thrown across the room roughly. She felt the air erupt from her lungs as she slammed into the wall.

**AND** **NEVER** **HESITATE WHEN I ORDER YOU TO KILL SOMEONE.**

Visas clapped her hands uselessly over her ears. "Y-yes, Master!"

**Leave.**

Visas jumped up to her feet and fled back to her chamber. The door shut behind her, and she stood in the center of the room, trying madly to shut out the Force, not caring that it made her blind in the dark.

She grabbed at her clothes, ripping them off, trying to make that one sense less invasive, that one part of her existence a little less uncomfortable.

The desperation left her finally, and she shivered in the cold.

Laying on the floor, she reached out gently, not really knowing what to do. _Is there a way?_ She asked of the Force. _Could I have saved her? Nobody else has shown me pity before. It was a shame she was weak, but she was weak just the same._

And then she forced these dark feelings away. There was nothing to be gained from her sadness.

She reached out with the Force, trying to find other Jedi. Maybe one of them would be strong enough to destroy her Master.

And she felt... Katarr?

_The Jedi went to Katarr? But if they had gone there, then that meant that..._

Visas Screamed.

**Be silent.**

She obeyed.

**The Jedi came to Katarr. One of their masters thought to trick me, sent me there in the hopes that their combined power would destroy me. They were fools. All the Force exists only to feed me. All creation exists only to be devoured by me. Your people, your world, was only an appetizer before I swallowed them all.**

Visas cried, deep in her heart; the only way a Miralukan could. _My poor, poor Katarr... Damn you for doing that to them... and Damn the Jedi for bringing you to them... and damn me for living..._

**Find me more.**

"Yes, Master."

Visas reached out across the reaches of Space, following the web of the Force.

And then she heard it.

At first she didn't know what it was.

It was... an echo? An echo of the Force? No. It was a tone. It was resonance. It was like a single pure musical note that made no real noise, but echoed sadness and confusion. And power. Pure power, hidden deep within.

Visas studied her Sense on it more carefully. It was something truly unique. It felt like the Force was being drawn to it, like a shatter-point in a large plane of glass, and where it moved, the cracks in the world moved to keep centred on it. But it was not angry and hungry like with her Master... It was...

It was...

It needed something. It was so... wounded. It was not hunger, it was a wound. A wound in the Force. It wasn't Sith. It felt no rage, only sadness.

Visas almost laughed. It was the first familiar thing she had sensed since Katarr was destroyed. And it meant no less, just because it reminded her only of herself.

It was alive. It was thinking, feeling, trying to decide things.

It was a person! It was human. A man, making his way across a far distant world.

Visas trembled. There was someone else. Someone else carrying a planet's worth of pain, and he was so strong! She could sense his power from a galaxy away.

**Have you found me a new morsel to devour?**

Visas slammed away her Force Sense quickly and quietly, keeping her emotions firmly under control, completely at ease. "No, Master. There is nothing worthy of your hunger."

**Very well.**

Her Master's presence withdrew slightly. He was meditating.

It was the only secret she had managed to keep from her Master.

* * *

The routine continued. She would search the galaxy for new victims. Her Master would reach out from beyond the stars and bring them to him one way or another. And then he would devour them.

Every now and then a Jedi would strike, try to cut her Master down, and fail.

And every night, she would retreat to her chamber, close her eyes, and reach out for him, searching for the sound of his echo. And when she found him, she would try to memorise every gentle sound his echo made, every resonance of his Force Sense against her own.

He was very wonderful to look at. The Jedi were cold harsh light against her darkness, painful against her vision, and he was not. He was Light and Darkness together, with the Wound in the Force between them, keeping them apart, making them both somehow softer and gentle. He was not Jedi. She knew that without question. Jedi were all the same, rigid and bright without restraint In the Force. She wondered if he even knew The Force at all.

He laughed at things, he told jokes, he helped people; and he was so very sad. He was... alone. He was so much like her it was shattering, that someone else could be so lonely, so sad for reasons he couldn't change. She saw him, feeling like she felt. Like he was without purpose. A mistake of life.

 _It's me._ She said to him, knowing he could not hear her, and glad that they would never meet. _I'm still here. It's good to see you again. I do not know where your pain comes from, but I wish I could tell you what your simple existence means for me. You're not a mistake. You're not. not to me. You're strength and hope for me, simply by being there._

She wished suddenly that she could talk to him, tell him that he wasn't alone either. She wanted to take his pain and hold it with her arms, like it was some tangible thing. She wanted to pull his pain away from him and into her, hold it close to her body and nurture it and heal it.

Because if he, a living, breathing, active wound in the Force, a bleeding space in the fabric of creation could be rescued from a planet's worth of pain... could be healed...

Then maybe she could too.

And if not... then at least he could keep moving, where she had been kept trapped.

She hid him. She kept him hidden. Kept him safe. Kept him away from the Hunger of her Master. When her Master demanded more, she sent him others. Other Force sensitives, other Jedi, a few Sith. But her lonely Echo, wandering across the Galaxy, who's name she did not know, and who's face she would never see, was safely hidden away; the only secret Visas could keep. He was her quiet escape, the one thing that her master did not grudgingly give her. The closest thing to a connection she had.

Until one day, Nihilus somehow found out.

* * *

Visas came to him and bowed deeply. "Master."

**Do you sense it?**

Visas shivered mournfully. "Yes, Master. I sense a disturbance in the Force."

**Have you been hiding him from me, Visas?**

She felt a thrill of horror go through her. "Why would I hide something from you, Master?"

**To prolong your life.**

"And why would I want to do that?"

With a speed she could not follow, she was wrenched to her feet and hung in the air by her throat.

Visas fought to take in some air past the invisible bands that closed her windpipe. "M-master! please!"

**This one is stronger than you. If I send you to capture him, you will fail.**

"Yes, Master."

**However, I am sending you anyway. If you die, it will be no loss. If he spares you, then you will return to me, and he will follow.**

Visas fought to keep herself in control. "Master, may I ask what you will do when he comes?"

**I will feed. Or if he is worthy, I may decide to keep him... as your replacement. And then you will get your wish, Visas.**

Visas felt a thrill of horror go through her. Nihilus was going to kill him. Or worse yet, wound him, as he wounded her. No. She couldn't let it happen! She would go to him, and she would die at his blade; or (and this thought was the worst agony yet) she would kill him. Either way, Nihius couldn't have him.

* * *

She went to Nar Shadda. She set her ship to follow the Hyperspace lanes that would bring his echo closer, but she did not need it. He was the shatter-point. A wound in the force. An unmistakable echo. She could have found him regardless.

She followed his echo till he was in her field, almost within reach in a crowded promenade. Visas took in one shuddering breath after another. There was something truly intimidating to being so close to something she had longed to see from across the galaxy...

And then he had moved, quicker than lightning, the unmistakable sound filling her ears. He had a lightsaber!

It was a stunning revelation. Jedi were harsh white light, painful to look upon. Sith were smothering black, suffocating and death-red darkness. And the Force-sensitive with no training were embers in the dark, waiting to be breathed upon before they shone with true light...

He was not attacking her, and the presence of the energy blade sent the crowd screaming in every direction as blasters rang out, trying to get past his defenses as his friends drew weapons and blades of their own.

Among the chaos, people scattering and screaming, Visas stood frozen, untouched, apart from the crowd, barely aware of them, losing herself in the spinning light show that her beloved Echo was creating through the dance of combat. He was back to back with a pale haired Echani, the two of them having each other covered, protecting each other carefully as they slashed their way through their enemies.

Visas slipped away. He was trained after all. Her Master had not realized this, and neither had she. He was not a Jedi, so what was he?

* * *

He had a ship of his own. She had followed his imprint in the Force until she found it. She focused her sight on the keypad until she saw which buttons his presence had contacts and the keyed it in. There were others on the ship, but she avoided them, searching for the sense of him again. It lead her to a small room, private quarters. There was a bed, a workbench...

She could feel his fingerprints here, she could sense him in the walls. He had spent so long on this ship, meditating in the private spaces it afforded him, that she could almost smell him. As he left the ship, she knew she should strike. If his party got in the way, she would cut them down. But she would not be strong enough to defeat him. She knew that now. Suicide by combat was the only way now.

The others... they had presence in the Force. They were Force-sensitive, like herself. Was he training them? Was he making them Jedi?

Visas closed herself from the Force, making her away around the empty space. This was the room. This was his place, where he meditated and trained... She could feel him everywhere.

He was coming back. His followers had broken up, passed into different parts of the ship, preparing for the journey, stowing supplies, or healing injuries...

And he was making his way back to his room.

The tone that came from his echo was so clear now. Visas could feel her own Self-Sense begin to echo it. Her tone changed, answered his. His soul was a soft and meaningful song, and she could feel herself coming into harmony with him. He was voice and she was echo. He was echo, and she was resonance.

Visas shook. It was the first thing that she had ever felt from _herself_. On Katarr, she resonated with the sound of a million voices in the Force, their song all reflecting off each other. It was the first thing she had felt from herself since Katarr died. He wasn't Miralukan. How was this possible? How could she actually _exist_ in the Force again? _Have I really been there all this time?_

For a time, she forgot. She forgot she had a mission, she forgot she had escape waiting for her, she forgot that she held a weapon, her arms slack at her sides, the lightsaber dropped to the deck, and she lost herself in the echo. It was clear now. But it wasn't louder. Light years closer, and it had no greater volume. It was a whisper that filled her hearing.

"Hello? Is someone in here?"

He had spoken! He had a voice! He had reached her physical senses also for the first time! He was more than must an echo in the Force, he was real, and solid, and existed! She let out a sound before she could stop herself. "It's me!"

"Who are you?"

She felt him reach out to her in the Force. For the first time since Katarr died, she felt something light up her own presence in the Force and she jumped up. In a heartbeat, he pulled back his senses quickly, shock the last thing she felt from him. He had picked up the stench of the Dark Side on her. He thought her a Sith. His weapon was out in a second.

She had to save him! Had to keep him away from her Master. She lunged with all her strength, her saber springing to life as she struck.

His blade flared to life and flashed up to meet hers.

She pulled back and struck again. He was stronger than her, pushing her attacks away with only one hand. He was more powerful, his technique more proficient, but they fought for a few minutes because she was confusing to him. He was expecting her to cover her flanks, to press her attacks. She did not. Instead she provoked him, gave him openings to strike the death blow.

But it never came.

She bared her teeth and felt her frustration spike. Why wouldn't he just finish her off?

Visas reared back and slammed her saber down, when another blade crossed with hers, checking her attack dead still.

Visas shook off the confusion. The Exile had drawn a second blade and stopped her saber with his own, and she had never seen him move.

Even Visas, who could see the music in the air, did not see him move. Why wasn't he a Sith? If he had been a Sith he would have been unmatched. Power immortal. Power unlimited.

His blade slid down the length of hers till it reached the hilt of the blade and her weapon fell from her grip in two broken halves.

Defeated, and relieved to have it be over, she dropped to her knees and tilted her head back, baring her throat. "End it." She whispered, at the end of her strength.

"No." Exile commanded. "No more killing."

Visas wavered and weaved. "Why not?" She croaked, and passed out.

* * *

Visas came awake, and didn't know what this was. Was she alive? Had she joined the Force at last?

She was... warm. It felt nice. She had a blanket over her. It was soft. She liked the feeling. She could feel the wounds and fractures in her body had been treated. There was much less pain, even some comfort. It was very nice. She could feel the skin of her body. She had been cleaned... She could feel cloth on her skin. She was wearing different clothes, and they were soft and comfortable... She felt clean, and soft, and warm... If she had eyes, she would have broken down sobbing. It was so beautiful. It was the most beautiful feeling she had since her world had died. It was peaceful and it was gentle and it was perfection and it was light and it was...

Visas gasped in horrified realisation. Her scars, the blackened wounds across her vestigial eye sockets, the only scars she cared to hide, were visible. She had spent so long in isolation that she barely noticed that her hood was gone. She brought her hands up to cover them, and felt a bandage. It wrapped once around her face, and covered the scars. She was relieved for it.

He was there. Her mind was wrapped in the echo. She had not heard it because it was so close...

"I didn't think I hit her that hard." It was his voice. He was talking again. He was not standing over her... He was close by though. She settled herself, simply listening to him, she had never heard his voice before today.

"You didn't." Another voice. Younger, aggressive. "I don't know what she's been through. Her clothes were infested. So was her hair, we had to clean her up just to get to her wounds. From the scan, it looks like she's taken a lot of punishment. Close to serious malnutrition, I'm looking at a lot of old breaks and fractures... I'd say it looks like torture. Frankly I'm amazed that she could give you a fight at all. That kind of borderline starvation and abuse couldn't have given her a lot of endurance."

"Poor thing."

"Poor thing? She tried to kill you!"

"No. She couldn't win and she knew it before she attacked. She didn't want to kill me. She wanted me to kill her."

The other voice became confused. "Why?"

"I don't know."

She barely reached out with the Force, listening to his echo, so clear and close. She marvelled in the feelings.

"Go tell the others what you found. I'll keep an eye on her."

"Okay. But _you_ have to tell Kreia."

"Coward."

"She freaks me out."

He laughed. Visas was swept away in it. He was laughing! What a wondrous thing to experience!

Footsteps, then silence...

"I know you're awake." He said finally. "I have some food here for you. You should eat."

Visas hesitated.

"It's not poisoned. I promise. Do you want me to eat some first and prove it?"

She wanted to talk, and fought to make sounds. She rarely spoke with her voice. "What is your name?"

"I am Exile." He said. "I have no name."

"I... I do not know what that means." Visas said slowly.

"Exile? It means... cast out. Denied. Isolated."

Visas shivered violently. "Alone."

"Yes."

Visas felt sympathy. She had never known what that 'Alone' meant. "My people had no word for being lonely. There was never any of our people who were capable of being isolated."

"Must be nice."

"I am... I was, Visas Marr." Visas tried again. "What is your name?"

"I am Exile." He repeated. "And I will not give you anything more, until I get to know you a little better."

Visas shivered again. "I understand. But I have very little information to give you, no matter what methods of torture you may use."

She sensed... surprise. "I would not do that."

And she believed him.

"Besides, I only wish to talk for a while." he said gently.

"I... I am not good that that. My people spoke with the Force. It has... It has been rare that I have used my voice."

"Really?" he seemed surprised. "You should do it more often. You have a nice voice."

"I...I do?"

"Sure."

Visas was stunned at the thought. She had spent so little of her life focused on her physical senses. Though she knew that the majority of beings in the galaxy had little connection to the Force, it never once occurred to her that she would be pleasing to the senses in any way. She tried to sit up.

He helped her. She shivered. She had never been touched _gently_ before. Her own master used only the Force to make her move however he wanted. She revelled in it. It was like the cloth on her skin. It was soft and kindly to her senses. He placed a tray on her lap. She took a moment to breathe it in. She had never smelled anything nice before. At least, nothing that did not make her retch. It made her stomach growl with hunger. She picked up a piece and took a bite. Her mouth was suddenly alive, filled with amazing sensations as she tasted the first food given to her that was not rotten or stale. She moaned before she could stop herself, and the juices ran down her chin.

He chuckled warmly and she quickly wiped her face. She ate faster.

"You're a Miralukan." He said. "I've never met one of your people before."

"I may be the last you'll ever meet."

"Why?"

"My world was devoured."

Silence.

"That's... unusual. Most people would say 'Destroyed'."

"Weapons have not the power to cause such devastation." Visas told him. "The Force has many mysteries."

"How did you survive?"

"I didn't." Visas told him, pushing the tray away. "He... wanted me to see for him."

"See what?"

"All the things that he could not. Darkness cannot see beyond itself. All he touches is consumed. So he took me, uses my Force Sight to see beyond the stars, and find new victims to feed his endless hunger."

"And this is what brought you to me."

"No." Visas whispered. "I found you on my own. I felt an echo across the ether, and once I heard it, I had to follow it, find out where the Sound That Had No Source began."

Silence.

"I... don't know what you mean."

"I... It is hard to explain."

"Try." He said gently. "I have time."

"I... I sensed someone who was in pain. There are all kinds of pain, but mine began when my world was devoured." She gestured at her face. "I never had eyes, not like you do. The only time that I have ever 'seen' in the way you do, had visions from one way, was when he forced it into my mind. He showed me my world as you would see it, all dead rock and dust. It wounded me. I became the Living Death of all my people, and then I saw nothing at all."

She felt a touch. A hand on her shoulder. It's weight and warmth was comforting.

"I could see and hear the very thoughts of my people, I could hear their voices on the wind, and suddenly I could know and experience nothing at all but what a Sith Lord allowed me. I was... diminished. When I sensed you, I did not know what you were, but I sensed that you were in some way wounded as I was."

Silence from him. His presence was eerily still.

"Are you?" She begged of him finally. It was a desperate question. _Was I wrong? Are you not like me? Am I alone after all?_

"I... Have experienced something like that. At Malachor." He said finally.

"I know not the world you speak of." Visas told him, horrified that what happened at Katarr could happen to others; but not surprised. His hunger was endless.

"Why are you here?" he asked. "You had to know that you could not win."

Visas felt the exhaustion creeping up on her. "When... there is no escape, better to die."

She could feel his sadness for her, his empathy. It made her feel weak inside. After years of abuse and exposure and neglect, she had hardened her heart and her body to be untouched by any of it. How could sympathy do what torture could not?

She felt weak before him. He had so much pain, and yet his song was so clear and brave. How could he be like this? How could he feel as she did, and yet be so strong inside? He was chimera. He was Gemini. He was light and dark with his echo bouncing between them in the middle.

Visas longed for it. To have that kind of echo for herself. To have strength beyond her pain.

But why would he show her that? What could she possibly offer him? She should be dead by now.

Yes. She would offer him all that she had. And then he would show her, or kill her.

Visas dared to feel a moment's hope. She fought to move.

"Whoa! Easy!" He told her. "Stay where you are." His hand came back, trying to push her back on the bed. He brushed the skin of her neck and she gasped. The soft echo of his presence had suddenly become sharply clear, no longer resonating through the air but rather coming to her directly, passing smoothly through the contact of his skin on hers. She forced herself past his hand, slid off the bed to the floor. He tried to help her up, but she was not trying to rise.

She bowed deep before him until her forehead touched the floor. "Master." She intoned with all the strength she had left. "My world is destroyed, my people are gone, and I am left as I am. Whatever I am is yours now. I pledge my life and my death to you. Ask what you will of me. My life for yours."

"You need not call me Master, Visas." He warned her. "I am no longer a Jedi. I do not have the Rank of Jedi Master any longer. I have taken no apprentice."

"I would not dare to ask that honor of you, my Master; but it would be my pleasure to accept whatever you wish to teach me."

"There is little you can learn from my feet." He told her, and despite herself, she was... amused. She had never heard a joke before.

Visas felt the terrible weakness pass through her again, and her body shook a little with exhaustion. He scooped her up and put her back on the bed, almost before she knew it.

"Tell me where your Master is." He commanded.

"You are my Master." Visas insisted.

"Then tell me where the Sith Lord is." The Exile said patiently. "The one who did this to you." His presence shifted. He was pointing at her face.

She turned her face away from him, ashamed. "Did you see?"

"No." He promised her. "Your hood was removed by the ship's medic. He was required to treat your injuries, and you had many of them. He cleaned you, changed your clothing with some that we had in storage, bandaged your face. He was supervised by a trustworthy woman at all times, they both have my full confidence. You were not degraded or mistreated. You have my word."

Visas was warmed. She had never been given considerations such as this. "Thank you."

"Now tell me where to find him."

"No."

"I can protect you from reprisals."

"I do not care about reprisals."

"Don't you want to see him brought to justice for what he did to you? To your people?"

"Yes."

"Then tell me where to find him."

Visas' first reaction was pleasure. She would have been very glad to see Darth Nihilus die. The second reaction was much stronger. It was fear. If he could touch the Exile the way he reached her... The Exile had already so much pain.

"No." Visas pleaded. "I cannot. If you go, he will feed on you, or he may wound you as he wounded me. I... I took steps to make sure that you could not follow me back to him. If you had just killed me when I asked you to... you would be safe from him."

"Visas-"

"Please!" She begged. "You cannot comprehend the Hunger that awaits us on the Death Ship. I am nothing before what's waiting for you. You do not know as I do. You do not know what you are. You are a convergence in the Force. The point on which the Parliaments of Conquerors may rise or fall. And where you move, the Force moves with you, like water flowing down a crack in the earth; you draw it to you. I... I cannot bear to have that destroyed. Please do not ask me. If you tell me to reveal it to you; I will. I can deny you nothing, my Exile, and if you face him, I will stand with you and die in your place if it would spare you a second longer, but I beg you not to force me."

There was a moment of silence, as he considered those words. "You came aboard and attacked me, you are thick with the Dark Side of the Force and now you refuse to tell me where to find your Master-"

"You are my Master."

"Visas, can you understand that I have no reason to trust your word?"

"I ask not for your trust, My Exile. If you doubt my loyalty for even a second, then I beg you to kill me. I have seen everything I wanted to see. I have achieved everything I set out to achieve. My Life For Yours. It is yours to take."

Silence.

He reached out and touched her hand again, her mind opened, and his song resonated beautifully within her again. "Rest now." he whispered. "When you get your strength back, we will talk some more."

"Yes." Visas obeyed quickly. "I will rest... master."

He left her then, and her room was empty, only her.

She felt warm. She felt clean. She felt cleansed. She felt healthier. She listened for the Exile, and could feel his echo rolling around her little room, like footprints he left in the Force.

If she had eyes, she would have wept. It was so perfect.

**Do you really think that I had lost you? You are nothing to me. Your presence will bring him to me. I am patient. I can feed on others while I wait.**

Visas wanted to scream; but stopped herself.

**You cannot protect him from me traitor. He will come, and you will come with him.**

* * *

_Three Weeks Later_

* * *

She went to her place. Exile had commanded that she be given quarters, and she asked only for the bare walls of the auxiliary cargo bay. Steel floor, curved walls as all on the Ebon Hawk were. The acoustics of the room were perfect for Force meditation, and she sank to her knees.

The others on the crew had taken to her presence badly, even when the Exile, their captain, had vouched for her loyalty. Atton had been openly hostile. The droids did not care, the Bounty Hunter was watching everyone. Kreia, filled with the dark side herself, had spoken with the Exile privately and then said nothing to anyone, remaining in her own meditations. The soldiers had watched her carefully, until she had spent some time fighting alongside her; and then forgave her entrance. They understood the nature of someone freed from slavery by the Exile.

The Handmaiden had reacted with hostility and jealousy over her time spent in training with the him. Visas understood, but the Echani was not truly aware of what it was that drew her to her new Master so very strongly.

Three weeks had provided her with much. She was feeling some connections to things again. Her Master was teaching her the ways of a Jedi. She had made a saber of her own, she had learned restraint. She had learned mercy. And from him she had learned compassion. He spared his enemies in battle, he sought out weak ones to defend... and when they thanked him, tears rolling down their faces, she was standing right there with him. She could feel the light in him grow with every good deed.

She liked it when she could help people with him. She liked being at his side.

The great wound in him was smaller, healing. Caring for others allowed him to take some steps toward forgiving himself. She liked that she could make him feel better. She liked that taking care of her made him stronger.

She felt valuable in his presence. She felt stronger when him. She felt protected. She felt useful.

But it was more than a matter of attitude.

She was fed regular meals of delicious food. She was given clothing that was comfortable and warm. She was given a bed, and not a cold floor. She bathed regularly and was not offensive to her own senses. Her life was so much better. Her hair felt softer, her body stronger; her energy lasting longer.

But so much more than that, she was away from the Ravager, away from the Sith Lord. Away from his... Evil. Her Sight was unchained. Her leash of the Dark Side was severed. She could see again. She could sense again.

And after three weeks, she dared to think that maybe... maybe she was free.

**Free? You will be free when I have fed.**

Visas yelled in shock. She jumped up and ran toward his room. Nihilus was there, in her mind, even from across a rapidly shrinking area of space, he had found her again, still tied to him, a leash of darkness around her throat. He was getting closer! The ship was going to Telos!

**You will be here soon.**

He was asleep in his quarters, and she hesitated before letting herself in, half expecting the Echani to be with him. But there was nobody else there.

**Is that him?**

She slammed the Force away from herself quickly, sealing it off, leaving her blind in a suddenly unfamiliar room. She reached out with her hands, searching for the wall. She knew the layout of the Ship, and could find her way back to her room. Her purpose in coming here was forgotten.

She bumped into something, and her hands closed around it, down near knee level.

It was the bed. She could hear his breathing hitch. "Visas?" She could feel him shifting, but the the Force closed to her, she could not be sure. She tried to get clear, brushed his foot...

She reeled back, tripped on something and stumbled to the floor. "I... I am sorry. I was coming to talk to you... I..." She threw herself at his feet. "Forgive me, Master!"

The Exile reached down and pulled her upright. "There is little to forgive Visas, and anyway, you cannot get absolution from my feet."

She rose obediently.

"Why did you want to come see me?"

"Master..." She whispered. "Why must you go to Telos?"

"Visas." Her master returned, soft and commanding. "It was not difficult. I know you want to protect me, but there is a slice of the galaxy that I cannot sense. And neither could Atris. And neither can Kreia. You can see more of the Force than all of us put together, Visas. Will you tell me what you see?"

If Visas could cry, she would have.

"He... He waits for you there. At the heart of the silence. He reaches to me from his dark ship. Everything that can be sensed, everything that can be alive has been devoured. There is hunger in him that does not sleep. He has heard you, as I once did, and he calls you to him, kills without mercy to bait you; to draw my Exile into his jaws." She reached out, too far away to touch him, but still reaching for him nonetheless. "Please. Do not go to Telos. Don't take the bait. Do not go after him."

"Visas..."

She reached forward and touched him deliberately, the first time she had done so since coming on board. Still blinded, her fingertips grasped blindly, and caught his cheek; she ran her fingers down to cover his lips, asking him to be silent while she pleaded. "My Master... My Exile." She whispered, barely hearing her own voice. "He will wound you, as he once wounded me. He will take the universe away from you, and leave you blind as I am, broken as I am. He will suffocate you in his darkness, and leave you wounded. You were hurt once, as I was. I don't want you to go through that again."

The Exile rose to his feet, unconcerned with his lack of clothing. She could not see him, and had little use for modesty. He dressed as they spoke.. "If I do not go, people will die. And the longer I make him wait, the more people he will kill to draw me in. I saw that happen once my friend, and so have you. I will not have it happen again to anyone else." He smiled, and she could feel the kindness he tried to send her. "Would you really have someone else suffer as we have, just to keep me away from your old master for a little while longer?"

"Yes." She said simply.

He chuckled. "I know you would. But I still have to face him."

Of course he would. Because he could not stand by and let it happen. Because he could not let others suffer if he could take action. Because he was good. Because he was noble.

She loved him so.

"I will go with you." She said finally.

**I told you; that you would come back, and bring him with you.**

* * *

After three weeks, Visas had a whole new view of the ship. It was not longer so... intimidating. But it lost none of it's stench.

The Drones were nothing. They avoided the trio of Jedi. And Visas dared to think that being a Jedi was not so terrible, because he told her it was not.

The Dark Lord was waiting for them.

"Dark Lord of the Sith, the fire of the Jedi shone once before you in the name of justice. And you caused terrible pain that day. Now you will face them; once and for all."

Nihilus did not speak. He attacked. He threw the tendrils at him, eager to tear his presence apart, suck the Force from his body. Visas felt his parasitic hunger tear into her Master, the fire racing through the air.

**MINE!**

Visas screamed. "NO!"

And the Exile laughed with cruelty.

Visas stared at him. He was unhurt. He was... laughing. Why was he laughing? Why was he even alive?

"I faced the kind of devastation you left on Katarr once before." The Exile explained. "I faced it on Malachor, and I survived, by destroying my connection to the Force. How I can still feel it, not even the Jedi Masters know, but you cannot feed on me. I am a wound in the Force. There is nothing left to take. Only pain. And you can take as much of that as you want!"

Nihilus roared.

Visas stared. He was okay. His wound had made him the only way to fight her Tormentor... and she was standing with him.

If she wasn't concerned for her Exile, she would have laughed. By the end of this day, either she would be dead, or Nihilus would. Everything she ever wanted...

Nihilus roared and drew his lightsaber.

The Echani, the Exile, and Visas did the same.

The combat was fast and brutal. She had sparred with Nihilus once before; while he showed her how to use a lightsaber. His strikes were all fury, quick and savage.

Visas matched him with calm and focus, letting her two team-mates take the offence, keeping herself at Darth Nihilus' flank, keeping him from escaping, blocking his sweeping attacks toward her Master.

The longer the fight went on. The more passionate, and the more fury Nihilus poured into his attacks. He focused less on her master and more on her, trying to goad her.

**Your doing well. I ate your family in far less time than this.**

Visas felt the rage bubbling in her, howling to kill him, howling to turn loose. She could not count the number of times the rage... the pure hatred she felt for him had made her simply lunge at him, only to be tossed aside without a thought, put into the wall and punished for the attempt.

But now...

Now her rage at Katarr, had something else to balance it. now her isolation had been eased, because she wasn't alone any more. Where the numbing silence left by the death of her world had been, she now had something else.

"You can't hurt me again!" Visas roared and struck back, staying focused.

Nihilus was being forced back, losing ground, when the Echani managed to get a strike in under his guard. The Sith Lord fought to block it, and the handmaiden knocked the blade high...

...And Visas sliced the sword arm clean off at the elbow...

...And the Exile rammed his blade home.

The tremor ran through the whole ship, and Visas almost dropped from the pure rush of awareness that came with it. The bonds around her senses had been severed, the clutch of the Dark Side that clung to her from across the stars was gone, and suddenly she could see again!

The ship shook again, and Visas knew, it was her masters hunger that had sustained it, the only thing keeping the parts together was his malicious will.

"We have to get out of here now!" The Exile yelled to her.

For once, she barely heard him. Nihilus was dead. Visas just stared at the body. A trembling hand reached out, and felt the mask under her fingertips. Just touching his foot in confusion when she didn't know what Touch was, meant that he would punish her for weeks afterward. And now she was ripping the mask off his corpse. And all because the Exile had taken her in, cared for her, taught her, made her strong...

She loved him so.

Visas took the bone-white death mask, trying to prepare herself for the sight of Nihilus' face...

The Sith Lord's body dissolved into red corruption, the Dark Side the only thing holding him together, and Visas never saw his face, not even with her own way.

And she was glad for it. Nihilus was nothing but hunger, and now nothing at all.

* * *

The Ebon Hawk flew away, the Ravager erupting in great blasts of flame, it's evil and decay being eliminated from the Galaxy.

She retreated to her room, but was unable to meditate. She simply could not contain her conflicting emotions. She had never considered this result as possible. She closed herself off from the Force, trying to calm her mind.

Because she was closed off, she never heard him coming.

She jumped at the knock on her door, but recovered quickly and called him in. She did not rise from her kneeling position, and he came to join her, kneeling before her quietly.

"We've set a course for Kashyyk." The Exile told her. "We'll be there in a few hours."

She nodded.

"I wanted to tell you... that you did very well today. Coming face to face with him, could not have been easy. You kept your focus, controlled your emotions. I'm very proud of you, Visas."

Visas felt herself choking up just a little. "Thank you, Master."

"How do you feel you did?"

"I did more than I ever dreamed was possible."

"That's good." He sighed. "So are you going to tell me what's bothering you now?"

Visas did not answer.

"I could order you to tell me if it would help."

Visas was silent a moment, and then spoke. "All I ever asked of him, was to kill me." Visas whispered. "And all I asked of you was to let me meet you once before I died." She felt... fear. "Now... for the first time, I know not what to do. I have no direction. The Force abandoned me once, and then it came back long enough to lead me to you. I don't know what to do now. I think... I think that my part in your destiny has been fulfilled. I think the Force brought me to you, so that I could heal, and so that I could show you where he was. I think that my purpose is fulfilled now."

He took her hand, held it to his chest. It was a supportive gesture, friendly and intimate. She could feel his heart beating gently under his skin, and she felt her own heartbeat slow to match his rhythm. "Master?" She asked finally. "Your mission is still incomplete. may I come with you?"

"If you wish it. I have come to value you very much during our missions."

"My life for yours." Visas bowed deep. "That has not changed now. Not even a little bit."

The Exile smiled at her. "Then we have much to do."

He turned to leave, and she reached out to stop him. "Master?"

"Apprentice?" He teased gently.

"Am I beautiful?"

She could feel him hesitate. "What?"

"I do not have eyes. But when I look through the Force, I can sense that Atton and Bao-Dur think I am attractive. I don't know. I have never seen a face; not yours, not even my own. Not the way you would see it. Not the way you perceive. My people have no words for being beautiful in face and body, no concern for appearance or modesty, because we simply cannot look upon each other that way." She felt nervous for a reason she could not understand. "What I sense in you is wonderful to see, and the fact that you care for the Handmaiden does not make me jealous, for it makes what I see in you brighter and more lovely for me to look upon, in a way that only I can. And when I know that you care for me too, it makes my own presence... my soul feel so much greater than I was before I knew you." She sighed. "I do not want to trouble you, distract you from your purpose... I just wish I knew what I looked like. I want to know what you see."

Silence.

"Visas..." He said, drawing her name over three syllables. "You have pale white skin, as if carved from alabaster marble. It is smooth to the touch, apart from your scars, and contrasts with your hair and mouth. Your lips are full and ruby dark, the kind that are inviting and desirable. Though you keep your hood on, you hair is long enough to run down your face to your shoulders. It is soft to touch and raven black, straight in a way that shimmers, like the way a still lake catches the moonlight. Your body is toned and lean, though hidden beneath your rich and flowing robes. Your voice is warmth and exotic and mysterious and your scent is summer rain." He said, low and trembling in his voice. "A Jedi must not know passion, my Visas, only peace. Yes. You are very beautiful."

Visas smiled, feeling beautiful for the first time in her life, simply because he told her so. "Thank you."

She held out a hand. He took it. She was still closed to the Force, sensed nothing but the air on her face. Heard nothing but his voice. Felt nothing but the clothes he had given her, and his hand; warm in her own. "A Jedi must know only peace." She repeated his words. "I had never known a moment's peace in my life, until you. My days were filled with torment at his hands, and my nights nothing but despair at what I lost. My only purpose was to find new people for him to consume, and my only respite was to watch as he tore them apart. And then I knew you existed. It was the only thing that did not cause me fear or pain." she fought to get her emotions in check.

"Visas..." He started to say.

"Please, let me finish." She quickly put her fingertips back over his lips again. "From the moment I first heard your echo across the galaxy, I have longed for you. For your simple presence, and the way it always anchored me. I know that you may never love me as I do you, not even as you do the Handmaiden; and I know a Jedi must beware such connections. To be Exiled means to have no connections left to anything, but all a Miralukan knows is connection, all we can feel is to be a part of something; joined at the very soul." She slid her hand around from his lips to his cheek, and cupped his face. "This, right here, simple contact, is not even close to what we know of a complete stranger in our way. All my people exist as parts of a whole. With the rest of them gone, I am incomplete, diminished, non-existent. Until I found you, I thought that I would never be complete again." She smiled. "And now I am. Now I am whole. I do not ask for you to love me, only to let me stay with you, to keep your echo near me, to be with me and reflect what I am, as your presence in the Force resonates with mine."

She was pouring her heart out to him, knowing he could never comprehend what she truly meant, and he was not pushing her away.

"Stay." She whispered. "Look upon me, as I taught you, see me as I see you. Let what light I have in my Force Presence resonate with you, as your echo does with me. Just let me love you, and I will not argue when you must leave; and I will be content with the reflection of my feelings along the echo I felt so long ago. Go to the Handmaiden, tell her you love her, and be happy as you deserve. My wound has healed thanks to you. All I ask now... Is just let me see you, just once, as I long to, as I have always longed to, and maybe... maybe you can see me too."

His hand came up and touched hers, holding her fingers with his own. "Visas..." he said. "I don't know if I can see the Galaxy as you do. I do not know what you see in me that causes such strong... devotion, but I wish I could see as you do. I will stay here with you, as long as I can."

She hesitated, and then very slowly took his hand, and pulled back her hood, revealing the single strip of gauze that covered her face, where any other would have eyes. She slid his hand to the bandage.

"May I?" he asked, unnecessary.

"Yes." She whispered. No secrets, nothing hidden, nothing unseen. The bandage came away, and Visas felt her scars open to the air. She felt the raw sympathy pass through his soul, and his touch as he ran a gentle finger over the scars. "Do they hurt?"

"Only my spirit."

"Visas..." He whispered. "I am Exile. Everything and everyone I ever knew shouted with one voice that I would never be part of them again; and when Malachor died, I knew it was all for nothing. I doubt very much if I am as you see me. But I can try. Will you show me?"

Visas reached her clearest sight toward him, sensing him. She reached a part of her Force ability, sending feelers out to his light. _May I?_

She felt his light touch over her feelers, his walls dropping away. _Yes._

There was no distance between them. There was nobody to hide him from. At last, she was with him, embracing his presence in the Force. It glowed brightly, and Visas did not find it harsh.

And for the first time, her physical senses were not denied. She was filled with his presence in the Force, and her skin was alive with his touch, her ears aware of the sound of his breathing. Visas was more aware of him than she had been of anything.

I love you. Visas thought, and felt it echoed back to her. It had not come from him, it had come from her, reflected in his echo. Just like on Katarr, what she was, what she thought, what she felt; was reflected by the link, but now where once a planet had answered, there was only him, and Visas revelled in it, the sensation of something still existing in her universe. Not huge and powerful, but close and personal. The Handmaiden did not see as she did, could not sense as she could. This was something special, and precious, and could only work with the two of them.

Visas loved, and felt the strength of that emotion surrounding her world, reflected from his presence in her every sense.

For the first time since Katarr, Visas had something that shone back at her, something that echoed her, resonated with her. She was complete. She was whole. She was a person again.

And she could feel that he felt that same things too. He had spent too long alone, barely daring to trust his connections to the others of his little crew. She truly understood him at last, and joined to her presence, he understood her, and what she saw in him. He was a wound in the force, a convergence that could affect the connections to others, in a way that a Miralukan could only dream to be.

Both of them had done this in their way for their whole lives, before having it all ripped away.

Their senses expanded to include their surroundings. They went out beyond the walls of this room, feeling every inch of wiring in the walls, the hum of the engines, the smell of the Medbay, the thoughts of the crew, the nebulae passing by outside. They went beyond the hyperspace routes as she had so often done and she showed him the awe inspiring pattern of the universe, drawn in the infinite luminous web of the Force.

Then then they came back inward, coming closer and deeper into each other. She could feel the individual cells of his fingertips, she could count the hairs on his head, she could feel the direction of his eyes and the scent of his skin.

And she could feel his senses on her. She knew he could feel the motion of her breathing and the strength of her pulse; the feeling coming through his echo of her soul in the Force.

She did not invade his mind without reservation, did not read his every thought and memory. Even Miralukan's understood the intimacy of their bond, recognized the need for discretion. But she dare to do what she had longed to do since she first knew he existed. She reached out to his pain.

She could feel the agony and self-destructive guilt at that he had laid on himself at the loss of Malachor, and how he had saved himself by tearing the Force out of his soul, the fear he felt at having to touch it again, the strength he gained from the support of his friends... Including her. She felt the good that she had done, giving him her help, and was empowered, knowing that she had made a difference.

She could feel his pain glowing brightly behind the wound in the Force, and drew him closer, pulling his body to hers, holding him close, as though his pain was a tangible thing. She nurtured it, wanting to heal. He could feel the horror that went through her at Katarr, and pulled her closer, fingers running through her hair. He felt the remembered pain in her body from her Master's rage, and she could feel his sympathy running over the memories, like cool water on a burning scar. She accepted it, grateful, wishing that she had this years ago.

She felt his desperate loneliness, having known only the Jedi as far back as he could remember, and then having them cast him out. She let everything she was flow into him, giving him everything she had in herself without hesitation, to fill the empty place that loneliness left.

He felt her guilt at having survived. She felt his guilt at being unable to save them. And they forgave each other.

It was the ultimate intimacy, where your mind and soul was shared in even measure with everyone else. To the Exile it was the first truly fair, truly guilt-less universal connection and influence to another he had ever felt. For Visas it was coming home at last.

And with it done, and the old wounds healed at last, they pulled back from each other, emotional, exhausted, elated... until they came back to themselves at last.

"So..." He said finally. "We're really not that different, me and you."

Visas could not speak.

"Visas, The chance to direct your own future, and have nobody set your limits and define your own destiny... you haven't reached the end of the road, you have merely been given more choices. That is what it means to be free."

"Free?" Visas whispered. It was a word that had never been applied to her. never even been considered. She had never been without a master. Never been without a family before that. Where a world once lived and died inside her, now there were only choices and hope.

And the echoes of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Migrating Fics over. This is one of my older ones.
> 
> I thought Visas was a way more interesting character than the Handmaid. That thought came here.


End file.
